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Katy Perry Could Set Number 1’s Record

This song’s great on mute

The pop crown may soon be shared. Katy Perry is on the verge of tying Michael Jackson’s record for the most #1 singles off the same album, with five. Of course, Rolling Stone reported that she would be breaking it, but do you really expect intelligent or accurate music journalism from them?

Back in 1987, Jackson had five #1 singles off the classic Bad, one of his best albums, released before we found out he was freaky. Now the fifth single from Perry’s Teenage Dream could reach #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Appropriately, she might reach that milestone with the help of one of the worst things to happen to music. No, I don’t mean the Black Eyed Peas. I’m talking about the remix.

“Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)” is currently at #2 on the chart, but a recent remix featuring Missy Elliot has hit the radio. With the two versions combined (as Billboard does), it should be able to reach Number One next week.

To some, this is a sure sign of the music industry going to hell (for those who missed the obvious sign that is American Idol). Jackson’s Bad is a pop masterpiece and seeing the King of Pop’s record matched by Katy Perry’s boobs just doesn’t seem right. Aside from her lack of musical talent, I have nothing against Mrs. Perry. She’s quite comely, loves to wear sexy latex dresses onstage, and has music videos where her cleavage is the main star. In short, she’s everything I enjoy, except for that damned auto-tuned voice and predictable pop melodies. That’s why I get the most enjoyment out of her performances with the TV muted.

Perry showing off her talents

Perhaps it’s a sign of the times that a totally manufactured star like Katy Perry ties the number ones record. For quite some time, it has been the industry, rather than the public, that decides what songs are hits. Any song, even one by Cee Lo Green, can become a huge hit if the stations play it enough, and the major labels find a way to entice the stations to play their songs more than competitors. The more the public hears a song, the more popular it is. Long gone are the days of DJ’s playing what they like and the charts being dictated by an organic demand.

If Perry takes the top spot, it will be a counterpoint to the success of Adele, who has dominated the charts despite being overweight simply because she is an amazing singer with great songs. Adele would be just as popular even if no one had ever seen her; she doesn’t need to squeeze into latex dresses to be popular. In the end, though, this is a consumerist society where nothing sells like sex. When it comes to sex appeal, few do it as well as Katy Perry.

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