Insurer worried about Katy Perry’s boobs

Katy shows off cupcakes

You love Katy Perry’s boobs, I love Katy Perry’s boobs, and Katy certainly loves them, but not everyone feels the same. There is one party that is less than enamored with the singer’s greatest assets: her insurer. Well, okay, there are actually two, if you count your girlfriend.

Ms. Perry’s insurer is worried that the bras she wears onstage pose potential health risks. You see, Katy Perry’s breasts are the biggest part of her act. Her boobs shoot whipped cream, shoot fireworks, sell 11 million records, sell magazines, and can even make Elmo scandalous. She’s like a mammary MacGyver. It seems that there is nothing Katy Perry’s boobs cannot do.

Katy is aware of that. She knows that if you pay big bucks to see her in concert, it’s not to listen to her tone-deaf warbling sans auto-tune. It’s to see the fantastic spectacle that is Katy Perry wearing a skintight outfit (often a latex dress) with some weird objects on her bra to bring even more attention to her chest than would otherwise be there. (Buzzfeed has a hilarious list of things she’s worn on her breasts here).

Finally a reason for a 3-D movie

Perry recently told The Sun that “the insurers are worried I’ll injure my neck.” Perry’s wigs frequently get caught in her mechanical bras, such as those that shoot fireworks or twirl candy. The insurance company is worried that it could cause her to strain her neck, which could result in Perry and her boobs taking a break from performing, costing them money and us entertainment.

At one concert “my hair got caught in the wheels of my spinning peppermint bra and began to coil around,” she said. To avoid future mishaps, the insurance company wants a safer bra to be designed.

At one point, it is rumored that the insurer suggested that Katy just cover up her breasts and not make such a big deal out of them. To that, she likely responded “this is the part of me that you’re never gonna ever take away from me.” Or at least, I’d like to think that conversation took place.

What, are these things dangerous?