What makes you happy?

August 19, 2013 Leave a comment

Stuart-SmalleyEvery day when I come home from work, my dog greets me wagging her tail, excitedly jumping around and hoping I don’t notice that she pulled my (insert object of the day here) off the counter and chewed it into pieces. Just once, I wish I could be that happy. I wish anything made me as happy as my dog gets by getting to sniff some grass. Could anyone be that happy? Is it even possible?

Throughout most of my life, I’ve thought of happiness — true happiness — to be kind of like a fancy Porsche: I recognize its awesomeness when I see it, but realize I could never have it myself. But maybe I was looking at happiness the wrong way. Maybe it’s more obtainable; I just have to know where to look. Read more…

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Writing posts like these definitely isn’t going to make people want to marry me

August 11, 2013 3 comments

I was at another wedding yesterday, because as I get older I’m quickly running out of single friends. Most of you know that I have a love-hate relationship with weddings. I love the idea of formally declaring your commitment before friends, family, and God. I love getting to see all of the friends and family there. But I hate some of the expectations, such as the idea that I have to dance while I’m there. Also ties. Who was it that decided men’s formal attire should involve wearing a pretty noose around our necks that slightly strangles us throughout the evening? Of course, I’ll get no sympathy from the women, since high heels are even more ridiculous.

This time, I was lucky enough to be given a job at the reception. The groom asked me to do the stage lighting for the dance floor, which basically meant there were a few buttons I had to push every now and then. More importantly, it gave me an excuse to do something other than dancing. Read more…

Categories: Musings Tags: , , ,

Man of Steel not stainless

June 17, 2013 6 comments

Spoiler Alert: This review has a lot of spoilers. Like, a lot of them.

"I appreciate you looking in my eyes when you have x-ray vision."

“I appreciate you looking into my eyes even though you have x-ray vision.”

For those who were unimpressed with Man of Steel, seemingly everyone had a different moment where they realized the movie was going to suck. For some, it was when they first saw General Zod. For others, it was the  lack of red underwear. For me, it was when I heard who was directing the movie.

While promoting Man of Steel, producer Christopher Nolan’s name has been arguably more prominent than that of director Zack Snyder. That was no accident. In order to sell tickets, they wanted the movie associated with the genius behind Inception, Memento, and the Dark Knight trilogy, not the guy who made a dumb comic into a dumb movie (300) and a weird comic into a bad movie (The Watchmen). Oh, and let’s not forget that he also directed a children’s cartoon about owls. Putting Zack Snyder at the helm ensures that the movie will look like crap, which is a problem here, but not nearly the largest one. Read more…

My Steep Climb

May 4, 2013 9 comments

Disclaimer: Most of my posts are supposed to be funny and are meant to entertain. This is not one of those posts. Feel free to skip it. If you want a fun post to check out, this one is a good place to start.

Steep mountain hikeIt’s time to admit a little secret I’ve been keeping from everyone: I’m struggling. If my relationship with God is best understood as a walk, right now I’m in the middle of an arduous hike. Trudging up the steep mountainside, I can’t even see the top, obscured by the treeline and the twisting path. My muscles burn and more than once I am forced to stop and catch my breath. Looking over my shoulder, I consider how much easier it would be to just give up, turn around, and go back. Going downhill is always easier.

There are a number of reasons for this feeling, but the biggest one is that I feel my life means nothing. Paul told the church at Ephasus that “we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” I’m never happier than when I am serving others. I love volunteering with various nonprofit organizations and with my church. The problem is I’m so overworked at the job I hate that I have little time or energy for anything else. I’m exhausted, mentally, physically, and spiritually. A while back, I decided to make a change. If I’m really to live for God in the spirit of serving others, I want to do everything to that end. That means my job as well. So I began my quest to leave my job for a career in the nonprofit sector, applying to and interviewing with several great groups. Read more…

Shame on you hockey players

March 23, 2013 5 comments

Well, I just got an email saying I paid to auto-renew my domain name (which is important, because “stealing pesos out of my brain” is huge in SEO searches). Since I’m paying for this website, I might as well use it. Hopefully this post goes over better than my last one, which I think accidentally offended some friends. To play it safe, I’ll do something that will offend no one but Canadians: make fun of hockey.

Over the last few months, I’ve been to several hockey games, because Orlando has a minor league team for some reason. I don’t really know much about hockey, since I’m from Florida, so it’s been a learning experience. I’m used to knowing all of the rules and strategy for sports, but for hockey it’s all arbitrary. It’s totally cool to purposely slam a guy into the wall, but you can’t punch him. You can knock a guy down, but you can’t trip him or pull him down. Breakaways are a great way to score a goal, but you’re penalized if one of your teammates tried to help you out by skating ahead of you. Basically hockey is a less retarded version of soccer. Read more…

You’re not dancing. What’s wrong with you?

January 27, 2013 13 comments

We live in a generally accepting culture, where we understand that everyone is different and we all have our own opinions and preferences. We don’t refuse to associate with someone just because they wear flannel shirts, listen to Maroon 5 or hang their toilet paper backwards. We tolerate their different tastes. Well, usually.

There are two areas where people refuse to accept difference: drinking and dancing. I don’t drink alcohol anymore. Every time I’m out and order a nonalcoholic drink, though, I have to explain why, because saying “I don’t drink” is seen as bizarre as saying “I knit my own clothes from dead kittens.” I can’t simply say I don’t drink like I can say “I don’t like reggae.” It needs further explaining.

Oh, so are you a raging alcoholic? Did you pass out in an alley and wake up in a bathtub of ice with your liver removed? Read more…

I resolve to … um …

December 30, 2012 15 comments

calvin-hobbes-new-years-resolutionIt’s time to make a New Year’s Resolution. At least, that’s what I’m told. I’ve never actually made one. I’ve always skipped that tradition thus far because I know me, so I know I will never keep any resolution that I make. I’ve been on Chapter 2 of my novel all year long, it took me 6 years to get a bachelor’s degree because I kept dropping out and then deciding to go back, and I’ve never had a relationship last longer than 2 years, so I’m not exactly known for sticking with things.

This year I thought I was off the hook, but it seems you can’t count on those Mayans for anything. With the fresh start that accompanies the world not ending, I decided I want to make my first New Year’s Resolution. The problem is, because I have no experience, I don’t know what to resolve. So I decided to use this blog to brainstorm for resolution ideas. Read more…