I’ve written before about the unique challenges of being single over the age of 30. One aspect I failed to address is that singles over 30 need to get used to doing things alone. Since most of your friends are married, making plans with them is a lot more difficult. When you’re younger, making plans with a friend simply meant picking up the phone and calling (back then we still used phones as phones), and within the hour you were doing something together. At this age, you need to send a Google Calendar meeting invitation weeks in advance.
“Hey, I see that you’re available from 6:00 to 7:00 on the 12th. Do you want to hang out?”
“Sure, but let’s make it 6:00 to 6:50. At 7:00 my wife and I are picking out new candle sets for the living room and I don’t want to be late.”
That means if you want to do something other than sit on the couch petting your dog while you binge watch House of Cards (no spoilers – I’ve only seen Season One!), you’ll have to do some things by yourself. It isn’t easy, though, since from an early age you’re taught that being alone is weird. Let’s face it, you don’t want to be the adult equivalent of the kid sitting in the corner by himself during recess squeezing Elmer’s glue on his fingers so he can peel it off when it dries.
I’ll be honest. I’m just now getting used to eating alone. Generally I’ll get food to-go even if there’s nowhere I need to be, so people don’t see me at a table by myself and wonder.
“Why is he all by himself? Doesn’t he have friends? I bet he’s a serial killer. He looks like a serial killer!” Read more…
Mankind at its core is a selfish animal, one that is concerned with consuming things and collecting things. Well, that and having sex with things. Pretty much those are our passions. We like having things and many of us define ourselves by what we have and what we don’t have. Never is that more apparent than any time possessions are split and divided.
How possessions are split says a lot about the parties involved. For instance, splitting payment on a TV or entertainment system with your girlfriend is saying “I hope we stay together forever.” It’s also saying “I am a huge idiot who didn’t learn anything from any of my past failed relationships.” Once you break up, you have to convince her that it’s pretty much your TV; you just let her watch it sometimes. You can try that, but you would probably have better odds of convincing her that you didn’t break up. Read more…